-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.
-Alright… Choose to eschew the chew with––uh.
-Keep going buddy, you’re doing super.
–With, uh, with some stew at Shaky Stu’s well-stocked so… sho… I––I don’t know how to say this.
-Happens to the best of us. It’s easy: Soup Shop.
-The teleprompter says Soap Sack.
-That’s what I just said. Slap Stop.
-Those sound like different things to me, but as long as I’m getting paid, you’re in charge.
-Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re not paying you, but I love your motivation. Next line.
–(Smacks lips) And savor oozy sushi slices at Joy Shoal’s soy shack.
-That was great, just make sure you hit the Ps next time. We’re being sponsored. Sponsored by P.
–Swallow icy salsa sludge from silly Alice’s shallow chalices this Sunday from 6:00 to Shh! A.M.
-Hmm. Needs more pizzazz. You gotta get me excited about buying this life insurance!
–You got it, bossman. Swishy Sasha’s sissy sis sheared Cyril’s she-eel Saoirse––
-Faster!
–(Rushing) At Shake ‘N Snake, the one-stop-shop for sassy asps––
-Louder!
–(Screaming) Alas the lass spilt silt down Sal’s sheer shirt slit. But who sloshed snow slush at the hush-hush social? Ush… sa––Wow, this is really tough stuff. Who wrote this?
-Sloane Herschel and Saul Marshall.
-Authors of the short story Soldier’s Shoulder?
-From the anthology Single Shingle, yes. How’d you know?
-I just made that up.
-You’re getting the hang of it, pal. Now repeat after me: A sin! My shin. The same shame, Sam’s sham scam. That sly shill shall sell shucked seashells, pre-sucked. Smash the subtle shuttle! The ash banshee has shirked her silken sash: a septic spectacle.
-Uhh, yeah… Quick question: what are we advertising here?
-Choosy Susy’s Slow Show Co. sells shale shoe soles.
-What?
-Yes.
