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Pieces
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Hottest Girls In School
12
YMC '21-'22 • December 2021
And, action. Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
Puritan Party
30
RYSL FOD • May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …
My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20 • October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
Movie Theatre
14
SWR '19-'20 • March 2019
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Gun Show
1
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19 • May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Oliver Twist
14
RYSL • September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21 • May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Male Introspection
124
AMC '23 •
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23 • May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Titles of Movies I Wrote About Time Travel
10
PKS '21-'22 • April 2021
- I Go Back in Time and Kick Dust All Over the JonBenet Ramsey Crime Scene - I Go B…
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