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Pieces
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
133
SMR '25 • September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
The Number 6
12
HJH '19 • October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
2009 Make-A-Wish
52
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Horse Racing Comix
48
IKI '26 •
Hamilton
144
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
My Feminism
23
AJ '18 • December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Organ Harvesting
61
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Blockbuster
27
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
41
EAT '24 •
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Richard A. Smith: The Hero
52
MFP '23-24 • December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
Horses
349
CLHC '26 • May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
‘Tucket
113
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Lifeguard
34
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really? Ho…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
39
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Lou Bega Gets Married
8
PKS '21-'22 • July 2019
A little bit of Jenieva in my life A little bit of Jenieva by my side A little bit of Jenieva is …
Bronze Age Teen Drama
125
JRD '22-'23 • July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
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