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A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
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Costume Party
2
December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
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Eugenics
December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
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Last Day at the Zoo
17
December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
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My Birth
8
December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
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Chimney Sweep
27
January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
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New Partner
20
January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
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My Relationship
8
February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
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Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
21
February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…