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JSR '22

Literature Board 2021
Vanitas
165
CLC '22-'23   •   September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
Trading Up
76
EB '24   •   September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house.   – Starti…
Van Gogh
80
JKF '25   •   September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
Oliver Twist
30
RYSL   •   September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Dating Simulator
30
GPCP '22   •   August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
My Cult
10
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Stars
17
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
1999
14
JLG '21   •   May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
If It Were Big Bird
5
MAK '21   •   May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
Street Fight
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
Bad Days
26
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
George Bush:  Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
Crying in the Rain
3
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
23
MMM '20   •   October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
Shark Tank U.S.S.R
54
PKS '21-'22   •   October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR.  Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
37
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Best Picture
4
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
But just what a year for movies! All my friends tell me, they tell me George Clooney, you love movi…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
12
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
The Art of the Username
18
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…