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Pieces

Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24   •   January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24   •   January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Proposal
11
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Yearbook Signing
10
MAG '21-'22   •   May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
Protest
47
SAB FOD   •   May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
College
21
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23   •   May 2022
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
Hogtown
44
CYL '26   •   December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools.  They either come for that or Larry t…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18   •   October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
Incentives
53
MRB '25   •   December 2023
Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade cla…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23   •   December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
44
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
Springtime Getaway
23
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency.  Hi, my 8-months pregna…
Draft Dodging
60
RYSL   •   May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22   •   January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…