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Pieces

J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
37
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
My PG Movie
21
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …
Birthday Card
21
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
46
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19   •   October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
Vanitas
151
CLC '22-'23   •   September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD   •   May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…
President Nice Guy
35
HFJ '18   •   December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
The Flu Game
10
HFJ '18   •   May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
Hell
13
MAG '21-'22   •   November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
Sleepy Sam
53
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
12
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
Brinkmanship
42
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
Sunglasses
2
AJ '18   •   December 2020
I was so excited when I got my first pair of sun-glasses, because I was able to see things tha…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
15
ENO '21   •   April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
The Art of the Username
18
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
My Relationship
11
ZPH '12   •   February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …