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Pieces

Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24   •   May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
MFP '23-24   •   May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09   •   October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
Science Class
171
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever)  Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25   •   May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
Driving to a Burger Joint
CAS '12   •   October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?”  Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25   •   May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Suburban Journaling
49
JKF '25   •   December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
The Big Prank
23
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Justin wants nothing more than to be friends with his next-door-neighbor Nate. They’ve been w…
A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
4
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
Eugenics
ASB '17   •   December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Missy Manners
126
Josh Lieb '93   •   November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
Relax
10
MJS '19   •   October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…