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Pieces
President Nice Guy
35
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24 • December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
My Cult
7
NGH '23 • June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Krauts
13
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
GPCP '22 • May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D L_KE &n…
Dear President
31
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21 • October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24 • December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
55
CDL '21 • December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
That Guy
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
MJS '19 • July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
Run To End Lung Cancer
74
JLN '21-22 •
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients. Me: Oh…
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
King of Smooth
111
CLC '22-'23 • December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Non-Confrontational Judge
60
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20 • February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21 • February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
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